“Please!

Let The Conflicts Die

and

Let The People Live!”

Thank You for Loving Me!

The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving

J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W.

Think about it! In wars, conflicts are not resolved. Wars end because one side has gained the upper advantage by inflicting a greater slaughter of lives, property, or resources needed to wage the war. Leaders lead their nation in the name of God, pride, and righteous to take another’s life or give up our own. Each of these reasons and philosophy contends pathology that justifies the killing of innocent people (victims) as well as the predator. This act produces philology that contents pathology that justifies the killing of innocent people (victims) as well as the predator. Predators and victims with unresolved abandonment issues fuel these actions and in turn, they produce more predators and victims with unresolved abandonment issues. All one has to do to validate this theory is to take a honest look at the war in Iraq. Our actions and policies have produced generations of people that want to kill us now more so then before we invaded their country to kill their leader.

A good philology for leaders of nations to operate by is to “take no actions that will create more harm than those you are trying to prevent!” If your plan of action cannot achieve that goal then you need to be concerned and come up with another plan! Killing innocent people is not a solution.

The action of killing has been going on and on since the beginning of humankind. This is why we keep having the continuations of the same conflicts or an outgrowth from the original generation after generation.

Examine governments that allow its people little, if any, freedom of choice and you will find that country contending with many different ethnic groups infighting.

We continue not teaching individuals and nations how to resolve conflicts. Why is this?

1. We don’t know how ourselves…we can’t take someone else to a point or level we have not reached ourselves
2. We don’t think it is important so we don’t teach it as a required course for graduation in elementary, junior or senior high school
3. For selfish reasons of wanting to use one group of people against another for our own selfish personal gain
4. We do not understand that our lack of conflict resolution skills theory seriously jeopardize and can end the existence of humankind
5. We do not appreciate the missed opportunities to use and spread the idea to other governments’ to do the same and have a Department of Peace with its’ director as a Cabinet Member. It is not the philosophy of the War Department to problem solve human relationship issues.
6. We fail to understand the missed opportunities to enhance people’s interpersonal skills by teaching group work methodology first to our teachers and then our students
   1. Teachers move throughout the day from one group of students to another without the knowledge base of using group work
   2. Students do the same. This handicaps them in the classroom as well as on the job as adults.
7. We do not really appreciate life although we want others to believe that we do value and appreciate life. If we appreciated life, we would find the money to treat and resolve the life issues we are coping with.
   1. Mental illness
   2. Poverty
   3. The break-up of the family
   4. The lack of jobs and job training programs, especially for youth during the summer
   5. The drop-out rate in our high schools

                    i. One-third of all students

                       ii. 50% for Hispanic and Blacks 

8. Companies that make board games and video games need to develop, sell, and market conflict resolution games. Call it “Going Green for Mind(GGM)©!”

In wars only people die! Each time you kill a person you recycle and validate the act of killing! You cannot say you believe in God and then kill your fellow man. Wars only increase mans’ inhumanity toward war and violence. My premise is that we are not resolving the abandonment issues and the behaviors of the people involved. This is why we continue to react to the symptoms and actions to kill each other. We have not learned yet that to continue to do the same things in life and expect a different outcome. Killing another is killing ourselves!

Why do we continue to do it? Humans are the only species that have produced multiple weapons of mass destruction and continue to develop more each day. If you do not accept personal responsible for our actions both individually and as a nation we are doom to failure.

Many states have laws on the books that:

• Allow college students to carry guns into the classroom
• Allow employees to carry guns to work and leave them in their cars
• Allow citizens to purchase machine guns
• Allow citizens to purchase as many guns as they like

We are failing to see that this sense of failed reasoning is being forwarded the end of civilizing behavior and actions. A country operating on fear from within and outside of itself cannot survive.

We need to resolve abandonment issues that are present in our citizens and in our societies. In the articles, I have written how abandonment is present and shows that in:

• Over three hundred life experiences thus far
• That all communications verbal and non-verbal, written or spoken can cause abandonment issues and experiences
• That social policies and laws cause its citizens to experience and feel abandoned
• That pathology can develop from several unresolved abandonment issues and experiences
• That individuals with mental illness can interpret their interactions with others as abandonment experiences and produce abandonment issues based upon their misconception
• That each individual has abandonment issues that they need to resolve so they do not interfere with their ability to bond, trust, and love
• That we must address the treatment and social issues in our home, schools, communities, jail, and prisons in order to stop producing social and treatment failures in people
• That we must resolve the abandonment issues that are killing us and causing us to kill others
• That we learn to love ourselves before we can love others
• That we must provide corrective learning experiences to heal the hurt and pain in all of us
• That we must forgive each other and our governments for the pain they have caused

If we would look at human interactions and experiences in life and study how…it is all about abandonment issues, we can develop the skills and attributes to love others and ourselves.

We can accomplish this by learning corrective experiences and behaviors.

When you assist me to resolve what is wrong, you assist yourself in doing the same

When you learn to love you, you learn to love me

When you stop reacting, you enable me to do the same

Think about it.

Therefore, I am asking you for your help:

“Please! Let The Conflicts Die and Let The People Live”

Thank You for Loving Me!

The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving