Its All About Abandonment
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Facilitating A Corrective Learning Experience
By: J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W.

 

All human interactions, events, experiences, relationships, and communications (verbal and non-verbal) (written, verbal, and physical) (real or preceded) have the ability to produce abandonment issues. These actions and feelings include the perception (real or imagined) of rejection, alienation, loss, separation, death, betrayal, aloneness, abuse (sexual, verbal, physical, financial, and emotional), grief, rape, termination, murder, mutilation, discrimination, displacement or any action that causes a diminished sense of self-worth to a person, group, race, or nation.

Left untreated or uncorrected these actions, feelings, and experiences become unresolved abandonment issues that damages and handicaps an individuals’, groups’, families’, organizations', companies’, governments’, race, and nations’ ability to relate, bond, care-for others, respect, love, resolute conflicts, provide or promote the welfare of its members, and function normally in a society. In extreme, prolonged, or multiply and sever experiences unresolved abandonment issues, and experiences form the bases of an individuals’, groups', families’, organizations', companies’, governments', and nations’ pathology. Not all of these entities recognize that their behaviors, actions, and communication patterns can breed similar experiences in others.

Unresolved abandonment issues are the root causes of the pathology we witness daily, worldwide. It manifests itself in wars, conflicts, murders, act of violence’s, mutilation of other people’s bodies, rape, and animosities between people of different tribes, cultures, religions, and beliefs. Unresolved abandonment issues contribute to us being dysfunctional in our relationships, abusing our spouse and children, cheating, stealing, and playing negative politics at place of employment.

To correct these behaviors, when possible, the individual, group, family, organization, company, and nation need to experience corrective learning experiences.

CORRECTIVE LEARNING EXPERIENCES (CLEs):

1) Events, experiences and/or acts that allows the opportunity for one to heal from (real or précised) abandonment issues, behaviors or experiences;

2) Opportunities to learn how to relate to others in a healthy way;

3) Opportunities to facilitate a healing experience or process in a person, group, organization or society;

4) A correction of ones’ precision of themselves or others;

Facilitating a corrective learning experience for yourself or others takes courage, strength, and risk to re-experience an event or action. Many times, it is extremely difficult and painful to process the death of a love one and the hurt you may be harboring over the circumstances of that persons’ death, e.g. 9/11, The Holocaust, Ethnic Cleanse, etc. Seeking professional assistance is always an excellent decision. 


Examples of CLEs:
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  1. A corrective learning experience happened in a country in Africa were women are brutally mutilated and rape a mother who experienced both gave the child born of these acts the name Love in her language.
  2. A corrective learning experience happens when the women in Florida’s prison participate in the Writers Workshop – Bridging The Gap, enhanced their self-esteem, and confronting their abuse so others would learn.
  3. A corrective learning experience happens when a women, who is caring and loving, accepts that her parents' abandonment issues prevented them from showing her the love and attention she has learned to give to herself.
  4. A corrective learning experience happens when a stepson work though his angry to find the love he has for his stepfather before the only man he has known as his father dies. 
  5. A corrective learning experience happens when an abused women has her abuser jailed and she moves on to a relationship with another man that respects and loves her.
  6. A corrective learning experience happens when the staff at a treatment center or group home does not allow a child or adolescents behavior to push them away from that person.
  7. A corrective learning experience happens when a person learns to feel good about themselves and no longer looks for others to do for them. 

 

 

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